Trying Out Sex Toys: A Complete Guide to Discovering Your Pleasure

If you’ve ever thought about using sex toys — whether by yourself or with a partner — but weren’t sure where to start, you’re in the right place. Trying out sex toys is a journey of discovery, comfort, exploration and fun. With the right mindset, tools and preparation, you can turn what might feel intimidating into an enriching part of your sexual wellness routine.

In this article we’ll cover what it means to try out sex toys, how to pick the right one, how to use them (solo & with a partner), how to care for your toys, how to avoid common mistakes, and how to turn your experience into positive, confident pleasure.

Why Try Sex Toys?

Sex toys are far more than novelty items. They can serve multiple purposes:

Explore new types of stimulation you might not get naturally or with your usual partner dynamics. Lovehoney US+2Fleur du Mal+2
Add variety to your solo or partnered sex life — new sensations, rhythms, textures. Lovehoney US+1
Help you learn your body — what you like, what you don’t, how your body responds. Fleur du Mal+1
Fill gaps — e.g., when you’re apart from your partner, wanting extra stimulation, or seeking something different.
Support intimacy and communication between partners when you try together and talk about what works.

When you approach sex toys as tools of pleasure and self-knowledge rather than something to “perform” with, the experience becomes richer and more relaxed.

Before You Buy: Key Considerations

Trying sex toys starts with choosing one that suits you — or both of you. These key factors help you choose smartly.

Material & Safety

Check toy material: non-porous materials like medical-grade silicone, glass, stainless steel or ABS plastic are easier to clean, more hygienic. Proactive For Her+1 Porous materials (jelly, softer plastics) can retain bacteria, even if cleaned. Choose wisely.

Your Intention & Use Case

Solo play? Choose a toy that fits what you like (clitoral, vaginal, anal, etc.).
Partner play? Choose a toy you both feel comfortable with, can incorporate into your dynamic.
New to toys? Choose simpler, beginner-friendly models rather than high-complexity devices.

Choose Reputable Brands & Retailers

Go for trusted sellers. As one guide advises, “buy only from credible websites or stores”. Proactive For Her Legit brands disclose materials, cleaning instructions, warranty.

Size, Shape, Control & Technology

Consider: size (too large may be uncomfortable), shape (what zones you’ll use it on), how it’s powered (battery, rechargeable), control options (manual buttons, app/remote). Some toys are designed to be quiet or discreet.
Also consider whether you’re comfortable with the toy’s look, feel and function — you’re more likely to use something you like.

Maintenance & Cleaning Requirements

Before you buy, check how the toy needs to be cleaned and stored. Some require more upkeep. Good hygiene is essential. hudapp.com+1
And remember to plan for accessories: lube (especially water-based), cleaning wipes or solution (see below), storage bag or container.

Budget & Expectations

Set a budget. You don’t need to spend a fortune to get a toy you enjoy. What matters is fit, function and safety. Also set expectations: the first time with a toy may feel different — exploratory rather than “perfect”.

Getting Ready: Before You Use the Toy

Once you’ve chosen a toy, the preparation is key to a comfortable, pleasurable experience.

Clean the Toy First

Although it’s new, it’s wise to clean the toy before first use. Remove packaging, wrap, labels, and follow the manufacturer’s cleaning instructions. This sets hygiene standards.
One health guide warns that failing to properly clean toys can lead to infections. The Sun

Create the Right Environment

Choose a private, comfortable space where you won’t be interrupted.
Set a relaxed mood: soft lighting, warm sheets, maybe some music.
If with a partner, talk about how you’ll introduce the toy and what you want.

Have Lubricant & Storage Ready

Many toys work better with lube — especially for insertion, anal use or body contact. Choose a water-based lube unless the toy says otherwise. University of Rochester+1
Also have somewhere safe to store the toy after use (clean pouch or container).

Start Slow & Explore

Especially if you’re new, the first time is about exploration, not performance. One expert tip: “Set the mood, take your time and explore.” Seventeen
Try the toy on external parts first (skin, lips, thighs), feel how it responds, adjust settings or controls, then go deeper.

Solo Use: How to Try It by Yourself

Using a toy solo gives you full control over pace, pressure, movement. Here’s a step-by-step for trying a toy on your own:

Position yourself comfortably. Get to a relaxed position — bed or couch — with easy access.
Warm up. Use your hands, breathe, stimulate gently. Let your body respond.
Introduce the toy externally. Turn it on at low setting; hover it or guide it over outer zones like clitoris, shaft, labia, perineum, whatever your anatomy is. Explore the sensations.
Adjust settings. If the toy has multiple modes, try low then medium, flick between as you feel comfortable.
Try internal use (if appropriate). When you’re ready, and if the toy is designed for insertion, apply lube and go slowly. Explore depth, angle, time. See what feels good.
Change positions or angles. Sometimes lying down, sometimes sitting up, sometimes propped on pillows — variation helps feel new sensations.
Ending & aftercare. Let yourself finish in your way. Then turn off the toy, clean it, store it. Give yourself a moment to rest, hydrate.

Solo play with a toy is a great way to learn your body, what you like, and build confidence.

Partner Use: Introducing the Toy Together

Using a sex toy with a partner opens up new dynamic possibilities. But it also requires communication and shared understanding.

Talk Beforehand

Discuss: what toy you plan, when you’ll introduce it, how you’ll use it, what you’re comfortable with. One guide of couple toy use notes: “Even if you’re familiar solo, partner use can feel a whole other story.” SELF
Set boundaries, safe words if needed, and talk about how you’ll switch roles if you want.

Introduce It Gently

Begin with the toy in a shared context: maybe the giver uses the toy on the receiver externally while the receiver uses their hands or lips. Or partner holds the toy while the other explores. Build synchrony.

Explore Together

Try the toy while in intimate contact: skin-to-skin plus toy stimulation.
Switch responsibilities: partner takes control, you receive; then switch.
Use the toy in a way that complements your intercourse or manual/oral play, rather than replacing it. The best toy use often enhances your usual intimacy rather than replacing it.

Clean & Transition

If switching to oral, anal or sharing the toy between partners, clean the toy or use a fresh condom over it. Hygiene matters. University of Rochester
After use, include cleaning, discussion (“What did you like?”, “What felt different?”, “What do we try next time?”), and the normal aftercare of connection (cuddling, talking, hydration).

Toy Care: Clean, Store & Maintain

Having a toy is one part. Caring for it ensures safety, longevity and better experience.

Cleaning

Use appropriate method based on material: some toys are dishwasher safe, some need gentle soap, some require wipes. One guide states: “All sex toys need to be cleaned after every single use.” hudapp.com
Wipes are a handy addition — especially if you want quick cleaning between uses. (See our guide on sex toy cleaning wipes for more detail.)
Check seams, grooves, charging ports. Dry fully before storage.

Storage

Keep the toy in its own pouch or dedicated box. Avoid contact with other toys of different materials (some materials react). Store in a cool, dry place, away from sunlight.

Inspect Regularly

Before each use, check the toy: any cracks, smells, battery issues, odd noise? If you see damage, retire it.
Material breakdown risks discomfort or even injury.

Replace When Needed

Even a well-maintained toy doesn’t last forever. If you notice wear, persistent residue, inappropriate feel, malfunction — replace it. Your pleasure and health are worth it.

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Trying Out Sex Toys

Even the best intention can be derailed by simple missteps. Here’s what to watch:

Buying without thinking about material or safety: Going cheap or impulse may mean porous materials, unknown brands.
Jumping too fast into internal/invasive use: If you’re new, start external, escalate slowly.
Using the toy without lube if required: Especially for insertion, anal play or sensitive zones — skipping lube can cause discomfort.
Neglecting toy hygiene: Unclean toys can harbor bacteria, cause infections. The Sun
No partner communication: When using toys with a partner, failing to talk means less fun, more risk.
Assuming “all toys are equal”: Size, shape, material, controls all matter. A toy that fits one person may not fit another.
By staying mindful, you avoid those pitfalls and enjoy the experience more.

Tips for Making the Most of Trying Out Sex Toys

Here are extra tips to enhance your toy-exploration journey:

Experiment with external zones first: thighs, perineum, nipples, clitoral hood — toys work beyond the obvious.
Try varying rhythms/settings: many toys have modes — don’t stick to one. Explore what you like.
Switch positions: sofas, pillows, countertop, bath — the environment affects sensation.
Incorporate toys into routine, not just “special nights”: This normalizes toy use and reduces “big deal” pressure.
If you’re with a partner, rotate roles: One session they use toy on you, next you use it on them.
Keep a toy diary (mental or written): note what felt good, what you’d change next time — helps refine your preferences.
Check that toys are quiet or discreet if needed: Especially if you’re sharing space or mindful of noise.
Be gentle with yourself: If the first few tries don’t “wow”, that’s okay — you’re learning your body and setup.
Exploration is as much about patience and curiosity as it is about intensity.

When to Seek Help or Guidance

If at any point you experience pain, discomfort, unusual symptoms or if a toy isn’t working as expected, seek advice — either a sex-positive health professional or trusted source.
Also if you have specific medical concerns, anatomical variations or prior surgeries, you might want to consult before high-intensity toy use. Safe play guides emphasise creating a safe mindset and informed approach. centraloutreach.com
And if you share toys with multiple partners, or switch between anal and vaginal use, you’ll want to be extra cautious about hygiene and cleaning.

Final Thoughts

Trying out sex toys is a powerful way to step into more pleasure, more self-knowledge, more connection. It doesn’t have to be complicated or intimidating — with the right choice, preparation and mindset, you’ll set the stage for experiences that feel good, safe and without judgement.

Choose a toy that fits your body and your comfort level. Prepare your space. Communicate if you’re with a partner. Clean it before and after. Store it well. Explore with curiosity rather than pressure. Over time you’ll learn what you like, how you like it, and be confident in your pleasure choices.

Because your sexual wellness matters, and sex toys aren’t just tools—they’re invitations to meet your body, your desires, your connection. Enjoy the journey.

FAQ

Q1: How do I choose my first sex toy?
Start by thinking about what kind of stimulation you like (clitoral, vaginal, anal, external). Choose a reputable brand, non-porous material if possible, budget that you’re comfortable with, and a simple design. Many beginner guides recommend starting small, exploring slowly. Lovehoney US

Q2: Can I use sex toys with a partner safely?
Yes. But communication is key. Discuss it beforehand, agree on how to use the toy, what you both feel comfortable with. Also clean the toy before and after, especially if switching between different zones or partners. University of Rochester

Q3: How do I clean and store my sex toys?
Clean based on the toy’s material using soap + water or toy cleaner. Wipe with toy-safe wipes or solution. Dry fully. Store in a dedicated pouch or bag, away from other toys of different materials, in a cool dry place. Remove batteries if applicable.

Q4: What if the toy doesn’t “feel amazing” the first time?
That’s totally fine and normal. Your body may need time to adjust or find the right toy, the right mode, the right angle. Use the first few times as exploration rather than expectation.

Q5: Are sex toys only for solo use?
No—they’re for solo and partner use. Many couples integrate toys beautifully into shared intimacy. The key is choosing the right toy for your dynamic and using it with mutual respect and communication.