Whether you’re exploring solo pleasure or adding something new to partner play, learning how to use a dildo can open the door to safe, satisfying, and confidence-boosting experiences.
Modern dildos come in a wide range of shapes, sizes, and materials—from soft silicone designs to vibrating models—each offering a unique sensation.
This complete guide walks you through how to properly use a dildo, how to choose the right one, safety tips, and the best ways to use a dildo for maximum comfort and pleasure.
What Is a Dildo?
A dildo is a phallic-shaped sex toy designed for internal or external stimulation. It can be used vaginally, anally, or for full-body play.
Unlike vibrators, many dildos don’t vibrate—though dildo vibrators combine both shape and vibration for enhanced pleasure.
Dildos are made from body-safe materials such as:
- Silicone (soft, flexible, hypoallergenic)
- Glass or metal (firm, temperature-play friendly)
- Jelly rubber or PVC (budget-friendly but less hygienic)
- Dual-density silicone (realistic “skin-like” feel)
Choosing the Right Dildo for You
1. Size and Shape
Beginners should start small—4–5 inches long and 1 inch wide.
More experienced users can explore curved, textured, or thicker models for G-spot or prostate stimulation.
2. Material Matters
Opt for medical-grade silicone if possible. It’s easy to clean, safe for sensitive skin, and compatible with water-based lubricants.
3. Features
You can choose between:
- Classic non-vibrating dildos for manual control
- Vibrating dildos for added intensity
- Suction-cup dildos for hands-free play
- Strap-on compatible dildos for couples
Preparation: Safety First
Before you experiment, understanding how to use a dildo safely ensures your experience stays pleasurable and worry-free.
1. Clean Your Dildo
Wash it with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner before and after every use.
If it’s non-porous (like silicone or glass), you can even boil it for 3 minutes for deep sanitation (unless it contains batteries).
2. Use the Right Lube
Lubrication is key for comfort.
- Use water-based lube with silicone toys.
- Silicone-based lube is fine for glass or metal toys.
Never skip lube—it prevents irritation and enhances sensation.
3. Relax and Set the Mood
Your body responds best when relaxed. Create a comfortable environment: dim lighting, privacy, soft music, or even a warm shower beforehand.
How to Use a Dildo for Beginners
If it’s your first time, take it slow and follow these simple steps:
Step 1: Get Comfortable
Lie on your back, sit, or kneel—whatever feels best.
Focus on arousal before insertion; foreplay helps your muscles relax.
Step 2: Apply Lube
Generously coat both the dildo and your intimate area with lube. Reapply whenever needed.
Step 3: Start Gently
Hold the base and slowly insert the dildo, using circular or rocking motions.
Never force it—listen to your body.
Breathe deeply and adjust angles for comfort.
Step 4: Explore Movement
Try shallow thrusts, gentle rotations, or hold it still while contracting your pelvic muscles.
Experimenting helps you find what rhythm and depth feel most pleasurable.
Step 5: Focus on Sensations
Shift focus between G-spot, vaginal walls, or clitoral stimulation with your hand or another toy.
There’s no “right” technique—only what feels best for you.
How to Use a Dildo on a Woman
For partnered play, communication is key.
- Ensure consent and comfort.
- Start with external teasing—glide the toy over the clitoris, labia, or inner thighs.
- Insert slowly while maintaining eye contact or feedback.
- Keep a steady, rhythmic pace, adjusting angle and speed to match her cues.
- Combine with oral or manual stimulation for heightened pleasure.
How to Ride a Dildo (Hands-Free)
A suction-cup dildo allows for creative positioning. Here’s how to do it safely:
- Stick the base to a flat surface (floor, wall, chair, or shower tile).
- Apply lube and position yourself above it.
- Slowly lower onto the shaft—control depth and speed with your hips.
- Use your core to ride, bounce, or grind gently for steady stimulation.
Riding a dildo gives you full control over pace, depth, and angle—great for learning how to orgasm with a dildo.
Different Ways to Use a Dildo
| Technique | What It Does | Suitable For |
|---|---|---|
| Thrusting | Simulates penetration | Vaginal/Anal |
| Grinding | Rubs against the clitoris or G-spot | Vaginal |
| Rocking | Moves back and forth slightly | G-spot |
| Circular Motion | Stimulates all sides of vaginal walls | Beginners |
| Temperature Play | Warm or cool glass/metal toys | Advanced users |
| Double Play | Combine with clitoral vibrator | Intense orgasms |
How to Use a Dildo Vibrator
If your toy vibrates, use these tips:
- Start on low settings, then increase gradually.
- Hold it against the clitoris for direct stimulation.
- Try inserting halfway while vibrations pulse internally.
- Use pulse or wave patterns to build arousal slowly.
The best way to use a dildo vibrator depends on personal preference—experiment with different angles and rhythms until you find your ideal pressure and speed.
Advanced Dildo Techniques
Once you’re comfortable, try these expert tips:
- Alternate temperatures with warm water or an ice cube (safe with non-porous toys).
- Angle adjustments: Tilt the toy upward for G-spot stimulation or downward for prostate play.
- Add vibration: Use a bullet or wand vibrator externally while using the dildo internally.
- Strap-on play: Attach to a harness for partner use—perfect for power dynamics or pegging.
- Combine sensations: Use nipple clamps or massage to heighten overall arousal.
How to Orgasm with a Dildo
Reaching orgasm isn’t about speed—it’s about relaxation and rhythm.
To cum using a dildo, focus on:
- Deep breathing
- Consistent motion
- Clitoral stimulation alongside penetration
- Changing rhythm as arousal builds
You can also make yourself cum with a dildo by combining it with a vibrator or by tightening pelvic muscles during thrusts.
Aftercare: What to Do After Using a Dildo
- Remove gently—don’t rush.
- Clean thoroughly using warm water and mild soap.
- Dry completely before storing in a pouch or case.
- Check for any discomfort or irritation; if so, take a break before next use.
Good aftercare keeps your body and toy in perfect condition.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Using no lube or the wrong type
- Inserting too fast
- Ignoring discomfort or numbness
- Not cleaning before and after use
- Sharing toys without sterilization
What Can I Use as a Dildo?
If you don’t have a sex toy, avoid unsafe household substitutes.
Only use objects designed for sexual use—medical-grade silicone, glass, or steel toys.
Never insert items that are porous, sharp, or lack a flared base.
Your safety is always more important than improvisation.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How to put in a dildo without pain?
Use plenty of lube, start small, and relax your muscles. Warm-up with fingers first if needed.
2. Can I use a dildo every day?
Yes, if it’s comfortable and cleaned properly. Always listen to your body and rest if soreness occurs.
3. What’s the best way to clean a dildo?
Use warm water and soap, or boil silicone/glass toys for 3 minutes. Keep it dry and dust-free.
4. How to use a dildo on a girl safely?
Start slow, use communication, and never force penetration. Pay attention to comfort and feedback.
5. What’s the best lube for dildos?
Water-based lubricants are universally safe and compatible with most materials.
Final Thoughts
Learning how to use a dildo is ultimately about understanding your body, taking your time, and exploring what feels best.
There’s no single “correct” way—only safe, consensual, and pleasurable ways that help you connect with yourself or your partner.
Whether you prefer a classic silicone model, a vibrating dildo, or an adventurous hands-free option, take it slow and enjoy the process. With the right mindset and safety steps, a dildo can be a fun, empowering tool for self-pleasure and sexual confidence.